Yesterday morning I went for a LASIK (Laser-Assisted in Situ Keratomileusis) It's a refractive laser eye surgery intended for myopia, hyperopia and astigmatism. It a bloody scary procedure though it somewhat safe.. =.=! *try not blinking when you have hands, objects, whatever the UFO dildo likes probing your eye and line of vision constantly under cloudy situation.*
My eyes are practically shot! Since morning beginning with diagnosis till ends of operation, my eyes are constantly dripped with a liquid solution that dilates the pupil. Then the eye torture begins with practically every known eye torture devices;
1) There's the spiral black hole thingy that will spin while the doctor shot a laser beam into the eye to snap shot photo of the eye, I did 3 types of different pattern machines. After that my vision seems distorted and I’m seeing starburst nova images. Then there is this funny hot air balloon picture that focus through a peek hole, after a while you could swear the image actually move around, remind me of the “red chick, mother chick and blue chick” image I did before..
2) After all inspection are done with machines, it back to mechanical test where ophthalmologist will ask for your head on a device and start molesting your eyes with hot and cool rays of light and needle in the eye part *part where u sit down quietly and perfectly still while a needle is inserted in to the eye..and rolls it around.*
3) Just when I assume that the examination is over.. suddenly the ophthalmologist pulls out a device *it look like a miniature monocular * and ask me to come forward.. as I inches forward * mahai! That fella stick the darn thing in my eye and ask me to roll my eye around.. the device is practically inserted into my eyes socket.. and ultra bright light is shoned in. He did the same with my other eye. Shit! Ultra irritation..Feels like tumbuk sama dia! finally he removes the devices and ask me to wash my eyes and face at the sink behind.. Fuck! What is this.. I got gel *K-lubs substances all over my eyes, sticky and looks yellow.. maciam kena eye masturbated sial!. Anyways it took me a long time wash them clean..it smells funny too.. Diagnosis over!!
I was asked to relax and have a light lunch which I did.. DID MY LAST SMOKE!! Since the pretty nurse advised me not to smoke during recovery process. At 2:30 my operation starts, I was given an operation robe *it look like kimono, a shower cap and a pair of cute feet cover to wear. My eyes then given a sterile cleaning; where they douse huge iodine like solution and swabbed your eye around hoping to kill gems. O.0!
Ah~ the operation theater! Beside the cool cold operating table that chills your butt up to the spine~ I notice that the air in it smells like burnt hairs! Anyway I was ask to laid quietly on the table with my head resting on top a * miniature toilet bowl like device and nurses are plastering a plastic sheet over both my eyes with a slit. Retractor *Claw like device * is inserted and forces to eyelid to open and REMAIN OPEN!!
The ophthalmologist then perform microkeratome .Microkeratome is a surgical device that have a vacuum effect that suck your eye ball so tight it feels like popping out and an oscillating blade that slice your cornea, NOT CUT! *It’s like slicing/peeling a mango skin. *The view is somewhat imagine looking at the sun while eclipse is happening. The ophthalmologist then remove the flap of sliced cornea revealing the center, a word of assurance from the ophthalmologist and an electronic voiced countdown begins for the Laser beam which will ablate a small amount of tissue shaping my lenses. The burnt hair smell even worse at this point.. shit.. my eye are burning !!
Operation Completed! I heard the automated voice. The ophthalmologist removes beam and started squirting liquid onto my eyes and gently brings the flap of cornea to cover the center. I was asked to rest a while on the table. I couldn’t see anything as my eyes are sensitive to light and can barely open since spending so much time with the retractor forcing my eye to open. Ouch time for more rest~
No comments:
Post a Comment