The Rising

Today is an ultra important day, woke up sharp 7am, seems that nowadays I been waking up earlier and earlier.. which is good I think. Deep thinking and planning are best done early morning. At 8am later there’s gonna be a meeting of 4 to discuss of a project details. If what was discussed worked and procedures are properly enforced, perhaps thing in life and my goals in life is one step closer to being achieved. Some how today I’m really looking forward to it and with gods blessing I hope I can strike it.

10am, Meeting done over B'fast, alot have bneen discussed , ideas and suggestion taken in deep consideration. back for a while to plan.. gonna do execution later.

4:36 pm Did alot of running around Klang and KL today~ WTF WITH THE ROAD TODAY?? Everywhere seems jammed with arseholes hogging the road like their father's road.. *above is one of the cibai fella! The road law should have made improvement.. in a 3 lane highways.. doesn't everyone know keep left if not speeding.... I serious think instead of summoning speeder.. they should start summoning those slow bastards driving on the right lane.. it is those cibai fella that are main cause of accidents and congestion in malaysia! fuckers! Are you one of them?

The 30th April's Joke!

I think I have made someone really upset with my view and action, perhaps I didn't give in to a deeper though of how the people might have felt and react. It must have felt bad and cruel... To those involves.. I truly apologizes :( .

Funnies are the 3rd view perspective, Cruel and mean will be in 2nd and remorse for 1st view, Never to try this again, people as in majority could not even grasp the essence of what happening in it. Reminds me of Bee Gees – I Started a Joke (this song have good interpretation and meaning - Link here). It proves my theory that people are unable of logic under certain circumstances. Good night, Adios , Thank You , Bye Bye~

Sunday Morning

Quite a few people ask me why I did it after all these while and kind of eager to know the result. Frankly I do not know and wouldn't care much for result. I've have been very true and sincere till the very last minute Hmmm~ what do I seek in doing so? A total freedom and honest to heart emotion that I suppressed so long lo. *maybe I live a couple more year, stress suda tarak! Ahh~ what wonderful Sunday Morning~

The Aftermath~

Tonight is probably my most happiest and memorable night due to 3 reasons.

Reason 1 ; my parent and sisters for supporting me and gives me blessing

Reason 2 ; My good friends for always encouraging me and giving insane ideas

Reason 3 ; The girl that I always like for such a long time finally knows…

without any of those above I doubt I could have made it this far.. thanks everyone for your support and encouragement !

The Art Of Flower Sending!

Waaaa… :( I think I fail in expressing and showing.. this whole afternoon I been thinking on how to sent the flower.. just never thought I did so poorly.. on a scale for 1 poor to 10 good.. I scored. ZERO!.

She's working today.. *so much for all my dinner plans.. anyway.. I self offered to give her a lift.. *Deng! Some creep got hold of me.. and I got to wait a long time and totally forgets bout my flowers… -.-! anyway.. I was late at her house.. *I follow the route she prefer.. IT WAY LONGER AND SLOWER! Hehe! . OK there she was.. standing.. *awww super sweet.. anyway she got in.. we talk like usual… *all this while my heart Phik! Phok! Phik! Phok!.. phew.. deep breathe in .. breather out.. I persuade her to use FEDERAL instead if KESAS

Then as we approach the FEDERAL highway.. I make a turn into BBK to collect the flowers.. she went EMO! *sorry la.. I know she’s running late but I have to do it!! Lucky she didn't emo too much.. even make a small white lies.. *wow.. she tipu because of me??

Anyway.. I got to the florist and take out the bouquet of flower.. *holy cow! BESARNYA!!!
I took the flower and slide up to my car open the her side of door and gave her the flower.. *DENG!!! I forgotten all about my speech.. clueless man! Just say.. “this is for you actually, hope you like it~” wanted to talk more.. but roadside ney! I duwan be roadkill.. so quickly I went back to my driver side and drove off.. *rushing to work.. seriously bad timing! But also ok cuz.. I dunno what else to say and what else to do.. STONING!! *along the way to PJ Hilton.. did some funny chat…*Skip *Skip *Skip

Later I need to fetch her.. Oh yea! I forget.. she don't dare take the bouquet of flower down ney.. it right next to me now.. sigh.. SO I GOT A TAKE TWO! How many guys out there get to sent a girl the same flower twice??

Prelude..That Fateful Day~

Last night I'm not even sure if I slept well.. too many thought and idea come to light.
Anyway I woke up this morning at 8 am.. my 1st thought was to buy flower, florist shop open ma so early? Anyway as I started my day with a car wash.. yea I know it raining but I really want to vacuum and clean my beloved car. After that I sent a few SMS out.. to mum and a friend asking blessing.. *crap! I sent a wrong SMS! Guess what the respond I got was overwhelming! Even the radio that I switch on sound like a chant of support! *reinnervation of some Britney Spear’s music I think!

Now as I driving around town looking for florist…. I keep thinking “wow.. this one of the craziest thing I've done and will do.. it feels really good and warm though. Something nice to do for a change – For All Good Thing Must Be A First Time! , might as well enjoy it while it last” God I must be blind for I couldn't find any florist shop! I drove from Klang center to Bandar Baru Klang and while passing by the General Hospital, it crosses my mind to actually drove in.. *you know when you visit a patient in hospital.. theorically there should be a florist inside..make good business I guess!” anyway I didn't cuz I recalled a friend advice that there's a florist shop near Bukit Raja.

Took sometime hunting the shop, parked my car, have a smoke and went in~ The florist is sweet, I told her this is my 1st time sending someone flowers. She was nice and good pr gesture, she showed me couple of photos album *omg! Look at those flowers.. so nice and wahlao.. the price tag! *crosses my mind again to just go drives around town looking at roadside and pluck those nice flower planted by MPK.. *evil grin.

Anyway I spent sometime looking around asking some questions.. initially I wanted some Pak Hup aka Lilly … darn flower not yet bloom..still in their green bubs! It requires 4 days for it to bloom.. *Deng! I kenot wait lo.. afraid my courage runs out… then I wanted some Tulip.. *Double Deng!! Need order..fastest 4th of May!. *Goner la.. mood down liao.. but then just then a friend called ….. after consulting for few hints and ideas.

*Be strong and decide yourself! I settle for some Daisies, Eustoma and Berries.. maybe I take a picture later to show because I have totally no idea how it supposed to looks like.. settle with the fringes and wrappers selection.. I again ask the florist .. what else to go with it.. she suggest I take a bear.. *wow.. I love Teddy! Ok I said “any specific bear.. large? Small? Will it overshadowed the flower? *Skip *Skip Bayar part abit boring! - gaji blom kuar la! eating reserve.. good time to diet too.. hehe!

And now I'm supposed to wait for the flower to get rdy.. she say come back afternoon. Waiting is all I can do now…. *Plan something man! *Plan!!!

Solutions~

After continuous discussions with all my friends, sister and couple.. *Thanks guy.. you are all are my pillar support!! I decided to go and do the ‘Death March’.. which remind me of *The black parade - My Chemical Romance .. it rokz! . Flowers! Hunt them later.. tulip be wicked eh? Cuz I find rose too blant.. ermm.. maybe I’ll ask my friends later and see.. shiet! it raining so heavily and thundering around... I'm not superstitious but please lo this is my sincere 1st attempt... hopefully be my last....seriously doubt i will do this crazy thing anymore. It's soooo not me!

The Fish That Got Away

During the heydays of MiRC, I've known a certain person~. Over time this certain person got closer and progressed to ICQ level! For a brief period of time this certain person become my daily buddies in ICQ. It feels good really~!

We met couple of times, and with such a outgoing personality, I still remembered the 1st day I met this certain someone.. Something move the rock! Being my ‘usual self’ I always suppressed myself! nuff said, though I have numbers to call and can anytime go out if really wanted too~ I supposed... which I never did.. *Stupid me~ I know! Mistake A* so as time progress this certain person was doing it tertiary education I still being my 'usual self- keep the distance! Don't spoil the cake!’

One night out of a blue, I was doing the usual ICQ thingy.. this certain person came online and seems rather sad and depressed.. and out of concern I’ve ask.. wanna go out ma? boy.. it lepaking in mamak *skip *skip *skip it was until the mamak dudes starting to feeds the morning pigeons.. i know it's morning edi lo! siao!!.. my ass hurt that day from too much sitting! Somehow that day my heart also very pain...

Again being my "usual self" I visit her couple of times at the college with pretext of visiting a friends.. I know it's skanky! but hell.. nuff said. It seems that my "usual self" is taking a common trait of 'tarik handbrake' when ever an event turning to a corner, I just never tries to proceed beyond~ fear perhaps~. This ways this certain person will never finds out.

As ICQ started dying down.. So is my fellowship with this certain someone. *Dark life moment sets in *Skip *Skip *Skip I’ve sort off tee-off from everyone else, becomes introvert unless being called out or something but above all I did nothing shining that boys my age should do.... don't worry I didn't turn gay.. Just in a snooze mood and lost plenty of youth experience.

Occasionally I catch glimpse of this certain someone but did nothing to approach it.. Just a far observation and glad things work well for that certain person lo, at least from what I've seen.. Klang is small one really can't escape seeing and bumping into each other wan la....
*Skip *skip *skip over the years sometimes I tried msging couple of time but never got a good replies.. I for one are not the kind of person who love to hang on phone boil congee, so the msg never run longer than “hie! How are you lately?”

Anyway early this year I've been lifted free of *Dark moment but none the less still have problems to settle* this certain someone seems to be in MSN more often than not! As if fate have it’s way to messes with people mind.. I started again chatting… those who know me.. knows my MSN is forever in busy mode simply I don’t chat with people very often unless chatted to which is unlikely for previously I’m always not around with a 24/7 comp running.

She seems troubled.. I senses it.. *Skip *skip *skip, things eventually got better, and I got closer than ever within the 3 weeks time! My usual friend and family know of this and I got lot of chit-chats of this and that.. it make me think deeper.. If I should be brave and ask this time around, which I know deep beneath the verdict is terminal.

There is a few time I vaguely mentioned to this certain someone..*Deng!! The respond is like vague too..*Double Deng!! Shit! Someone help me please as simply do not know what else to do for I have no experience.. *Triple Deng! Regret last time never try to learn all these thingy. Above all this.. One have to be brave and eventually faced up! So here I can only typed up what I couldn't express~.

Foreword

I've never tried blogging before.. this gonna be my 1st attempt!!. Unlike many other bloggers that I've read..*My god! They are sooo farking cool!!, with daily funnies and experience to tell... Which you wouldn't find any here! >.+! . Here's what you get instead.. I will tell a certain past experience, a situation or a dilemma which is neither true nor false and INCASE any of you people who reads it and happen to know me and ask..... I'll DENIED it! no doubt about it!