During the heydays of MiRC, I've known a certain person~. Over time this certain person got closer and progressed to ICQ level! For a brief period of time this certain person become my daily buddies in ICQ. It feels good really~!
We met couple of times, and with such a outgoing personality, I still remembered the 1st day I met this certain someone.. Something move the rock! Being my ‘usual self’ I always suppressed myself! nuff said, though I have numbers to call and can anytime go out if really wanted too~ I supposed... which I never did.. *Stupid me~ I know! Mistake A* so as time progress this certain person was doing it tertiary education I still being my 'usual self- keep the distance! Don't spoil the cake!’
One night out of a blue, I was doing the usual ICQ thingy.. this certain person came online and seems rather sad and depressed.. and out of concern I’ve ask.. wanna go out ma? boy.. it lepaking in mamak *skip *skip *skip it was until the mamak dudes starting to feeds the morning pigeons.. i know it's morning edi lo! siao!!.. my ass hurt that day from too much sitting! Somehow that day my heart also very pain...
Again being my "usual self" I visit her couple of times at the college with pretext of visiting a friends.. I know it's skanky! but hell.. nuff said. It seems that my "usual self" is taking a common trait of 'tarik handbrake' when ever an event turning to a corner, I just never tries to proceed beyond~ fear perhaps~. This ways this certain person will never finds out.
As ICQ started dying down.. So is my fellowship with this certain someone. *Dark life moment sets in *Skip *Skip *Skip I’ve sort off tee-off from everyone else, becomes introvert unless being called out or something but above all I did nothing shining that boys my age should do.... don't worry I didn't turn gay.. Just in a snooze mood and lost plenty of youth experience.
Occasionally I catch glimpse of this certain someone but did nothing to approach it.. Just a far observation and glad things work well for that certain person lo, at least from what I've seen.. Klang is small one really can't escape seeing and bumping into each other wan la....
*Skip *skip *skip over the years sometimes I tried msging couple of time but never got a good replies.. I for one are not the kind of person who love to hang on phone boil congee, so the msg never run longer than “hie! How are you lately?”
Anyway early this year I've been lifted free of *Dark moment but none the less still have problems to settle* this certain someone seems to be in MSN more often than not! As if fate have it’s way to messes with people mind.. I started again chatting… those who know me.. knows my MSN is forever in busy mode simply I don’t chat with people very often unless chatted to which is unlikely for previously I’m always not around with a 24/7 comp running.
She seems troubled.. I senses it.. *Skip *skip *skip, things eventually got better, and I got closer than ever within the 3 weeks time! My usual friend and family know of this and I got lot of chit-chats of this and that.. it make me think deeper.. If I should be brave and ask this time around, which I know deep beneath the verdict is terminal.
There is a few time I vaguely mentioned to this certain someone..*Deng!! The respond is like vague too..*Double Deng!! Shit! Someone help me please as simply do not know what else to do for I have no experience.. *Triple Deng! Regret last time never try to learn all these thingy. Above all this.. One have to be brave and eventually faced up! So here I can only typed up what I couldn't express~.
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