Respectfully, I don’t go above and beyond for people anymore.

I meet you as far as you meet me.

I speak to you as much as you speak to me.

I include you as much as you include me.

"People are not angered by what they have lost but by their thoughts about the loss."

 

"People are not angered by what they have lost but by their thoughts about the loss."

 

Our emotions are often shaped by our perceptions and thoughts rather than by the objective reality of events.

When people think about what they’ve lost, they might not just mourn the absence of the object, opportunity, or relationship itself. Instead, they grieve over:

Attachment and Sentimentality:
People attach memories, identity, or emotions to objects. For example, an old sweater might not be useful, but it represents a cherished memory, making it hard to discard.

Fear of Regret:
The thought, "What if I need this someday?" or "Will I regret letting this go?" creates anxiety, even if the item no longer serves a purpose.

Perceived Loss of Identity:
Objects often symbolize who we are or who we were. Letting go of them can feel like letting go of a part of oneself.

Cognitive Biases:

• Sunk Cost Fallacy: Feeling compelled to keep something because of the effort or money spent on it.
• Endowment Effect: Overvaluing items simply because they belong to us.

Nostalgia and Narrative:
People may focus on what the object represents rather than its current usefulness, creating resistance to letting go.

Across The Driveway

 As we were getting ready to leave, my wife, standing across the driveway, called out to our son, “Did you take pocket money for recess today?”

From the back seat of the car, he replied, “Yes.”

A moment later, she repeated, “Did you take pocket money for recess today?”

He answered again, this time a bit louder, “Yes!”

Not long after, she asked the same question a third time: “Did you take pocket money for recess today?”

Frustrated now, he shouted, “YES!!”

I glanced at him and asked calmly, “Do you know what’s wrong with this scenario?”

 

A classic example of miscommunication and persistence meeting frustration!

The likely "wrong" thing here could be the repetitive questioning, despite his consistent responses.

From his perspective, he might feel unheard or disbelieved, which escalates his tone.

Meanwhile, my wife’s repeated questioning might come from a place of concern or simply not catching his initial response due to distractions.

In truth, neither he nor my wife had been looking at each other, and with the car window wound up, she probably couldn’t hear his responses clearly in the first place!

The lack of visual cues and the physical barrier of the closed car window had caused the miscommunication.

It was a simple yet common mistake, a gentle reminder of how much we rely on more than just words to understand each other.

 “There is no magic wand that can resolve our problems. The solution rests with our work and discipline. ”

Even a fish will not get into trouble if he knows WHEN to keep his big mouth SHUT.

Resting on top of my work desk is an old stationary container, with a quote that reads:

“Even a fish will not get into trouble if he knows WHEN to keep his big mouth SHUT.”

This simple yet profound reminder resonates deeply with me, especially when I reflect on how our own actions and words can unintentionally affect those around us.

 
Learning when to hold back, especially in moments where our pride might urge us to speak, can be a powerful tool for fostering healthier, more understanding connections with others.
Too often, our ego-driven, commanding, and dominant traits can influence others in ways we may not even realize.

 
It’s easy to overlook how much our words and attitudes can impact people, but the truth is, these behaviours tend to amplify over time.

 
As we grow older, our lack of self-awareness or reluctance to listen can lead to even greater friction in our relationships, making it all the more important to recognize the value of silence and humility.